The Big Cinder Covid-19 Lockdown Sex Survey Report
First up, a big Kiwi cheers and thank you to all the respondents who were so kind as to take the time to fill in our survey. We are very proud that we were the first to do it and nothing quite like it has been attempted before. This is probably due to the fact that there’s never been a nationwide pandemic lockdown before, but let’s not detract from our accomplishment!
Now it’s time to jump straight into the fascinating world of what we all got up to sexually behind those closed doors. A big shout out to those of you who didn’t allow the threat of a global pandemic to get in the way of your love life. Slightly over half of our respondents kept calm and carried on. We salute you!
It wouldn’t be a Cinder survey without acknowledging those who went above and beyond the call of duty. Special praise goes to the one Kiwi couple who managed to try out the wheelbarrow position – you know who you are and we just want you to know we’re impressed. Keep up the good work.
We’ll start off with our married couples. It’s understandable that some of you who are parents might have felt a bit stressed with all the misinformation flying around out there. So, we’ll forgive the 17% of you who had less sex during this time. Overwhelmingly though, married couples had more sex during the lockdown – and we bet not a single one of you copulating couples worried about the coronavirus while you were on the job. Nearly half of all our married couple respondents had more sex, and we bet you feel a lot healthier for having done so.
17% had less sex during the lockdown; 37% same as usual; 46% had more sex.
32% watched more porn; 60% watched the same amount of porn; 8% pretended to not know what Pornhub is!
51% did not let the coronavirus impact their love life; 9% of married couples were negatively affected; 39% of married couples had a better love life. (With statistics like this, maybe we should have lockdowns more often!)
Only 6% of the couples were hesitant to kiss each other. The rest of you - 94% as it stands – didn’t think about it for a minute.
Not surprisingly, we saw from the survey that people in monogamous relationships masturbated more frequently during the lockdown – 42% of you eager beavers reported this to be the case. 32% had less chance to masturbate (get that bathroom door lock fixed!), and 26% just went ahead with their normal masturbatory behaviour.
Two thirds of you all were not inspired by celebrities and public figures telling them to stay inside, and one third of you reported that the idea of taking advice about a virus from a celebrity made you break out laughing.
The most popular position during the lockdown was the Doggy style with 37% trying it. 28% did not trying anything new, and 25% of all respondents enjoyed themselves trying out the reverse cowgirl.
From what we can gather, people who live together in a committed, loving relationship rode out the covid-19 storm with a fair degree of contentment and a whole lotta love! Well done.
Singles were sadly the biggest losers of the lockdown, and we’re not talking about dieting here. A whopping 68% of you reported having less sex, compared to the 86% of married couples/partners who definitely had more or the same amount.
68% of singles did not watch more porn, despite Pornhub’s generous offer to make premium access to the site free during the lockdown. 28% of singles did pleasure themselves on their own (maybe with our Fleshlight?), however; a pattern of behaviour very similar to married couples’.
Only 9% of married couples/partners felt the lockdown had a negative effect on their love life, as opposed to 60% of singles who say their love life and sex life suffered enormously during the lockdown.
Singles report being a lot more cautious as far as germs were concerned with 20% avoiding kissing in order not to spread or catch the virus. Well done to you singles – a round of applause for your stoical circumspection.
52% of singles masturbated more (similar to married couples - 42%). 28% of singles considered lockdown to be business as usual as far as masturbation was concerned, and did it the same amount.
Not one single was inspired by celebrities telling them to stay inside. Interesting. We don’t know whether to be shocked that no one was influenced by Madonna blithering on about the virus in her bathtub, or whether to be grateful no one watched it either.
32% of the singles tried masturbating in front of a mirror during the lockdown; a few had fun with the Doggy Style (20%); while 36% did not feel inspired to try something new. Such a shame.
GOOD ON YOU NEW ZEALAND!
This is a light-hearted way of laughing in the face of adversity and showing everyone that it even lockdowns and pandemics can’t dictate how we live and love. Congratulations to EVERYONE who helped make New Zealand Covid-19 FREE (for a while)! We couldn’t have done it without you. Now get out there and have fun.
Image credits courtesy: Flickr and Unsplash.