Famous Kiwis and Sex Toys
Which of These Famous Kiwis Should Use a Sex Toy?
We love our celebrities and want them to have happy lives. So, with our tongues firmly in our cheeks (where else would they be?) we have set out to list a few well-known New Zealanders who would benefit from adding one of these sex toys to their bedrooms.
We will start off with a Kiwi whose star burns so brightly in the world of film and television – Sam Neill. With such a stellar career, we suggest the CLONE-A-WILLY GLOW IN THE DARK KIT. No matter how radiant Sam’s performances, we bet this fun product matches him in the bedroom for luminescence.
It is safe and easy to use in the comfort of the home and uses medically tested glow-in–the-dark gel. It captures a likeness of your willy’s character as though it was made for the role. Come (sex toy) awards season this kit may even be nominated for a win!
This next suggestion is not so much for the gorgeous Lucy Lawless but her legions of fans all over the world who worshipped her performance in Xena: Warrior Princess. The PREMIUM SILICONE RABBIT VIBE is the one of the most popular vibrators sold in New Zealand today just like Lucy is one of our most beloved entertainers.
It is a beautiful and effective sex toy that has women smiling with pleasure. And similar to a binge-watch of the Xena series, it comes with guaranteed satisfaction.
Please don’t hurt us for adding your name here, Joseph. It’s just that this next product is a knock out mega-hit like you! And just like an opponent can be manoeuvred into the corner with a flurry of strategic blows, the FETISH FANTASY ULTRA INFLATABLE POSITION MASTER can elevate a partner into a better position too.
Unlike Joseph Parker’s rock-hard muscles, this positioning wedge is soft and comfy. You might fall hard for this item which is less sore than a bout in the ring, believe us.
(Image: Coconet tv)
Do you want a sex toy that will make you want to sing with joy? It is saucy of us to respectfully mention the singing sensation that is Sol3 Mio, as there are three in this globally successful group and there are usually only two in the bedroom! The JELLY RABBIT VIBRATING COCK RING is simply perfect to hit the high notes.
It is for the use of the male partner but has an attachment that works for the female partner too. It’s cute and pink – just like your favourite thing in the world. And if there’s three using it – well, things definitely sound good in threes.
With her dark, sultry beauty and quirky vocal stylings it is easy to pair Lorde to an exotic sex toy par excellence. From all the French Ticklers, furry handcuffs and flappy paddles on the market today, we are spoilt for choice. But Lorde comes across as the kind of lady who would want to stick to the classics so that she could insert her own particular spin on things in the bedroom.
Bring on the FETISH FANTASY DELUXE FANTASY LOVE MASK. If any sex toy can make one a proud member of The Love Club, it is this pretty little number. Give yourself the Green Light in bed to just lay back and enjoy. When not needed for bedroom high jinks, it can double up as a sleep mask. It will make you feel like Royalty.
New Zealand has the highest percentage of vibrator ownership in the world. We also have a very high percentage of celebrities that we revere and know will smile with us at this list.