If You Are Pregnant, What Kind of Sex Are You Allowed to Have?
First of all, congratulations! Being a pregnant couple is one of the most exciting things two people can experience together. It may be a welcome surprise, it could be a long awaited wish come true, or it just might be that you are a religious fundamentalist who doesn’t believe in contraception.. No matter what back story is attached to your pregnancy, one of the most important questions to cross your mind once you’ve heard the good news is: What Kind of Sex Can a Pregnant Couple Have Together?
What it Feels Like for a Girl
When you are pregnant, many things can happen to the body and mind emotionally and physically. Some women feel more sexually liberated because the hard work of trying to fall pregnant is out of the way, and now sex can be seen as a purely pleasurable pastime. Other women may need the constant reassurance of still being desirable, and this can manifest itself as a heightened libido and sexual craving.
Other women can be worried that they may harm the fetus by indulging in vigorous sexual intercourse. This is especially true of couples who have struggled to conceive and carry a baby to full term before. And then there are a large percentage of females who feel undesirable as their bodies begin to change.
And that’s just the female partners in a pregnancy.
Like a Virgin
Men can react to their partner’s pregnancy in a million different ways, and it has everything to do with their psychological profile. Let’s get back to old Sigmund Freud 101. When a male child is growing up, he polarizes his feelings towards his mother and his feelings of sexual attraction. It has to be one or the other; it can never be both. So the male brain segments itself into two polarities: The Madonna (mother) and the whore (the woman to whom he is sexually attracted).
When a man’s partner falls pregnant for the first time, there is the “Whoa!” moment in the man’s psychological profile. The woman that he was happily copulating with is no longer viewed by the brain as someone with whom it is okay to have sex. In his mind, the man now sees his partner as a mother figure. This isn’t helped by the fact that his female partner’s body is changing.
You can’t fight this image and reaction; they are built into the male psychological make up. Plus, biologically, once the female partner is pregnant, the male body and mind considers its work is done, and shuts up shop until it deems the female ready once again to fall pregnant (physiologically signaled by the infant being old enough to drink from a cup and not the breast).
My Substitute for Love
If a couple is pregnant for the first time, it’s really important that they prepare themselves for how their bodies will change, how their emotions and sex drive will go haywire, and how they should enjoy their final months together as an unattached couple. And no, that wasn’t a misprint; dads’ bodies changes too when they fall pregnant as a couple. Ever heard of “Dad Bod”? It’s when the male loses his slim-hipped torso and picks up a few pounds around the tummy. His brain is saying to him: “Hey, you can relax. Your job here is done”.
It is very easy once a couple is pregnant, to slide into a comfortable existence of work, home, television, and food. It’s what your biological imperative is telling you to do. Hunker down and binge before you have to run around hunting wooly mammoths when the baby arrives. This, however, would be an incredible waste of the few precious months you have left together.
With that in mind, and the clock ticking on the wonderful amount of free time you have left together, here are a few things you can do sexually before the baby arrives.
Crazy for You
You may have watched programs on television when a woman doesn’t realise she’s pregnant until the baby pops out into the toilet bowl. For all the first time pregnant women who have hopes of childbirth being mistaken for an upset stomach, there’s bad news. All the woman who appear on these shows have had multiple previous births, and all the muscles in their pelvic region have been stretched out.
It takes a while for the female body to regain its previous shape and tone after giving birth, so enjoy your pregnant body while you can.
You need to find out from your OBGYN or health care provider if you suffer from any of these conditions before hitting the bedroom:
- Unexplained vaginal bleeding
- Amniotic fluid is leaking out of the vagina
- The cervix is prematurely open
- Placenta previa
- A history of premature birth and preterm labor
Find out which parts of their body the pregnant partner feels comfortable with, and work with those. A woman’s breasts become massive, prominent, and marbled during pregnancy and this is a real turn on for both partners. This would be the perfect time to indulge in some tit-f*cking action if it is something you haven’t done before as a couple.
If the female is uncomfortable with her growing belly, a sexy lacy teddy or negligee is the best way to dress it down. There are some beautiful garter belts that can be expanded to fit the waistline. They camouflage the torso in the second trimester very well.
I am putting a link here to an interesting article about what women wore in the 17th and 18th centuries when they were pregnant. The King of France’s mistress, who still had to keep the king happy even though she was pregnant, designed a sexy as nightie that pushed up her breasts while hiding her tummy in cascades of lace ruching. Take inspiration from this and let your fingers gently slide their way down to your nearest online sexy lingerie store.
Into the Groove
If you have been given the all-clear to proceed as normal, then you can indulge in your wildest fantasies up to a point.
Oral sex is fine as long as your sexual partner has been cleared as STD-free.
All sexual positions are OK as long as they are comfortable.
Condoms should be used if the pregnant partner is with a new sex partner, threesome, or using someone else’s vibrator/dildo.
Sexual Activities that are Green for Go
- Role play
- Dominatrix (woman dominating the man) power play without wearing a corset (spanking, humiliation, golden showers, etc.)
- Watching porn
- Mutual masturbation
Sexual Activities that are Amber for Maybe
- Massage (can be dangerous if done by an amateur)
- Swing play
- Sex toys for women, especially ones that vibrate
- Electric play
- Dominator (man dominating women such as spanking, humiliation, golden showers, etc.
- Breast stimulation (can cause the production of prostaglandins)
Sexual Activities that are Red for Danger
- Recreational drugs such as poppers, erection creams, delay ejaculation creams, herbal supplements, and PDE5
- DP and TP
If you are having your first baby together, try to get away for a weekend every month until baby arrives. This will give you the chance to focus on each other’s sexual needs without fear of distraction. As the months progress, you may find that doggystyle is a more comfortable position for the woman to be in during sex. If the female partner struggles to have an orgasm in the doggy style position, try different ways to make the female orgasm first, and then move to doggystyle for the man. The spoon position with the female in front of the man is also a good third trimester pregnancy position.
It’s important to be aware of the physiological changes that are happening in the pregnant partner’s body. Prepare yourselves for unexpected fatigue, bouts of crying for no reason, and a huge upswing in nesting instinct. When you are able to put these aside and realise you will soon never again be a couple, you will be able to show the love you have for each other in a sexual way.
Deeper and Deeper
Never worry about poking the baby or squashing its space if you are lying on top. If the vaginal canal was able to handle the male’s penis length and girth before the pregnancy, it will be able to cope with it now. Unless you are unlucky enough to be ultra-sensitive to prostaglandin, a hormone that is found in semen and is produced during the female orgasm that causes uterine contractions, you should carry on your normal sex schedule as before.
Cherish each other before, during, and after pregnancy, and don’t get Hung Up on things too much.