Christchurch

Where will you feel safest when the next earthquake will hit Christchurch? In your home, with your relatives maybe? Or maybe at your garden, minimizing the chances that a sharp hazard will damage your body?

How do we know?

One thing that can be worse than to get stuck in an earthquake is being stuck in a sex shop during earthquake, where you’ll find yourself under attack of hundreds of dildos towards your body, sex dolls will cover you up, and if you’re lucky, you might avoid all the Kegel balls the last customer tried out in the store’s toilets. At the current stage when small earthquakes are shaking Christchurch, nearly every week, this scenario sure might happen to you if you choose to visit your local sex shop in Christchurch. Maybe it won’t occur in Hornby, but Moorhouse Ave, Linwood, and Edgeward surely are not immune.

Christchurch's Biggest Adult Toy Super Store

How bizarre that will be when the rescue team pulls you from a pile of porn DVDs and fleshlights. What about the photos from the CCTV and the NZherald reporters? They’re always after that kind of stories, just check out their website or this story:

With so many risks involved in going to a sex store in Christchurch these days (without even mentioning the possibility of getting robbed or walk in a heavy rain), we’re wondering why people are still bothering. And usually, it’s for the overpriced item you can find online at half of the price.

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So maybe next time, before you think about buying your next sex toy from any adult shop in Christchurch, remember what could possibly happen to you. Just bear in mind that the funny videos won’t go away. Buying online can save a life and some money too. Oh, and if you are worried about the shipping time, it's up to 48 hours. Easy peasy!