Sex Life Improvement Tips
5 TIPS TO IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE TONIGHTWritten by Kelly Cooke ex-Penthouse Pet and current sexpert-blogger specially for Cinder.co.nz
This is not your common run-of-the-mill sex tip list – these are facts that you can start trying out this very night that will amp up your zest for life in the best possible way.
TRIED AND TESTED TIPS
The qualifications I gained in order for me to impart this knowledge to you is as valid as it gets. I put myself through university like any other amoral person would, by dancing in exotic bars and doing erotic photoshoots. Simply by keeping my eyes and ears open, I gained much insight into the complexities of peoples’ desires that I parlayed to good account as a consultant for sexual behaviour articles at FHM.
At FHM it isn’t just enough to read about a good sex tip and write about it. They ask for couples to participate in trying them out in person in 5-star hotel suites and then ask them about which ones work best.
So, with this information under my (garter) belt, dive in with me as to what were the top 5 most successful. The results may surprise you.
Talking about sex can be extremely seductive and intriguing. There is communicating one’s desires and then there is overshare. It is quite difficult to achieve the former and the latter is a turn-off, so pay attention.
We have all heard the joke about the husband who says to his wife that he would like her to moan while they have sex and that night while on the job the man says “Okay, start moaning now” and the wife says “Why don’t you take out the garbage more often? You should mow the lawn. The stove needs fixing”.
Laughter aside, sharing what turns one on is like a spark to kindling – it stimulates both the speaker and the listener. One woman in our trials told her partner that she was extremely sexually sensitive on her knees. She hadn’t told him before as she didn’t want to sound weird. This little hint regenerated their sex life with a vengeance and became their little sex secret that they could safely do in public without anyone being the wiser.
On the other hand, blurting out early on in a relationship that one needs one’s nipples to be pinched in a vice-like grip in order to achieve orgasm is overshare. Wait until your relationship is solid and then buy a pair of nipple clamps – I’m too busy searching for my own orgasm during sex to bother wearing my fingertips down grabbing on nubs.
2. SENSORY STIMULATION
Whether you like to have sex in the dark or not, look after the other senses that are an integral part of the experience. Wear a scent that you know turns your partner on. Take the time to stroke and lick the parts of your partner’s body you know are pleasurable. Make sounds that enhance the mood like sighs and murmurs. Use flavoured lubes, feathers and things that vibrate. Make sure to avoid spicy foods that will seep out of your pores for the next 24 hours. Play erotic music.
Our trials found out some interesting turn-ons and offs. Across the board, women detested hard kissing (above and below) with a partner who doesn’t shave. Some men found a bit of sweat smell in a woman’s private area very stimulating. Again, communicate what is your preference once a relationship is well founded.
3. REMEMBER THAT ANATOMICALLY WE ARE STILL CAVE DWELLERS
It is easy to forget that our bodies have remained unchanged for thousands of years. When you have sex, the basic tenets that worked for our cave-dwelling ancestors work for us still. With that in mind it is important for us to pay attention to certain facts that were in play then that shape how we have sex today.
Mr. and Mrs. Caveman had to have sex in a safe environment. This was vital as we lose the ability to hear when we have an orgasm. This is really easy to prove. Play some music when you next have sex and you will not be able to hear it while coming. This moment then becomes opportune for a sabre-tooth tiger to pounce on you. Your body still has that little part that cannot relax unless the copulation takes place in safety. It doesn’t count if you are having sex with other people in the room. But just try having sex when someone is in the room with a kitchen knife and you will see the difference. So, check that the place you choose for your tryst is threat-free.
4. IF IT AIN’T BROKE, DON’T FIX IT
If you are lucky enough that your sex life is just perfect then never be swayed by something you read that may make you question it. If the lines of communication are open and you have discussed everything that you desire that are within the boundaries of possibility, do not start to think what you have is not good enough.
Be shrewd enough to realise that if both partners are having enough regular sex that makes both happy, then don’t feel the need to rock the boat. I have known couples that are completely satisfied when one reads while the other masturbates or have sex once a month in the backyard.
5. NEVER CONFUSE FANTASY WITH REALITY
The number one most popular FANTASY of women in the United States is being gang-raped in an elevator. One of the most popular male fantasies is being tied up and spanked by a Malificent lookalike. These are secret dreams that should be thought of and then locked away. Why we love fantasies is that we can CONTROL them. You will not be able to control your partner’s reaction when you tell them about it, so know when to shut-up.